Are you stuck in a situation that you know is not good for you – be it a toxic relationship or a toxic work environment – but are afraid to get out of it because it is uncomfortable?
In this blog, I (Kavitha) discuss my own struggles with this fear and what I learnt about where this fear comes from:
Fear of the unknown
This is something I (Kavitha) have personally faced. I know how daunting it can be.
In 2018, I decided to quit the corporate world. For two years prior, I remember going to work feeling sick and returning home feeling sick. No matter what I did, I could not shake off the feeling.
The decision to quit was hard, I simply feared the unknown.
I had so many thoughts swimming through my mind, which took a serious toll on my mental wellness. Some thoughts were:
- “What would my source of income be?”
- “What am I going to do after quitting?”
- “Is it normal for someone in their early 30’s to stop working?”
- “What about my career progression?”
- “What would I tell future employers, if they ask ‘why there is a gap in your CV?'”
Fear of Judgment
The decision to quit did not come easy. I had to think long and hard. I was afraid of what people would say. Never mind that I was burnt out and dying inside.
People would say things to me without thinking about how their words would affect my mental wellness. They would say things like:
- “You’re crazy, you have a small baby – if you quit how are you going to provide for him?”
- “You’re going to dump the entire financial burden of the family on my shoulders. You need to contribute equally.”
- “Women after having a baby are only fit to be a housewife.”
This one hit me hard. I was sick and tired of doing something that stubbed my creativity and stifled authenticity. But I did not have the courage to step out. I was plagued with thoughts and comments such as:
- “Is it right for me to pursue my passion? That’s only meant for when you retire right?”
- “You’re selfish for quitting my job. Look, everyone is at the grind. That’s how it has always been.”
- “When I was your age I worked hard to give you a future. Look at you, wandering like a gypsy.”
- “Only those who have experience in business can do business. It’s a brutal world.”
Eventually, I mustered the courage and quit the corporate world. When I resigned, I had no idea what I was going to do.
But that break proved to be the best gift I ever gave myself.
It was this break that gave me the courage to start Intracresco. Now I’m doing what I enjoy. And what I do at Intracresco is way way bigger than me – it’s about creating a safe space for our clients through our mental health counselling services.
It makes me feel alive, there is a sense of purpose and direction. And I’m doing this on my own terms.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is not easy. There is fear, self-doubt, judgement (from yourself and others) and not to mention tons of questions that taunt the mind.
I feel you. I hear you. It is ok to be confused. It is ok to be doubtful. It is ok to be overwhelmed by the very thought of needing to break free – be it a toxic relationship, a habit that no longer works for you, or stepping out of a job that does not motivate you.