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3 Reasons Why Consent Matters In A Relationship

30 November 2022
3 Reasons Why Consent Matters In A Relationship

Consent is an essential element of any successful relationship. It goes beyond just asking if your partner is open to sex. It helps you understand your partner’s boundaries and comfort level. It builds communication, trust, respect and emotional intimacy.

Here are three ways consent can strengthen your relationship.

01. Communicating preferences deepens TRUST

Many of us were brought up in cultures where discussing sexual preferences, limitations, desires, needs and wants was uncomfortable and considered to be taboo topics.

However, openly communicating these with your partner helps both of you understand each other’s boundaries.

This deepens trust, which can be defined as how much you feel you can rely on your partner to take care of your interests. The more you are comfortable sharing your innermost needs and feelings with your partner, and the more your partner is able to listen and understand your needs and feelings, the more you will feel you can trust your partner.

02. Practicing consent builds RESPECT

Respect is like an anchor. Even when times between you and your partner gets tough, it’s the respect that you have for each other which will hold you together.

Practicing consent means respecting your partner’s boundaries and never making assumptions. It is about moving at a pace you and your partner are comfortable with.

03. Honest communication creates a pathway to HONORING each other

While engaging in sex, you are opening up your most vulnerable side to your partner.

The more honest you are in communicating your hesitations and reservations, the deeper your understanding of each other.

What is acceptable for one partner may be taboo for the other. Honest communication creates a safe space and pathway for you and your partner to honor each other’s individual sacredness.

Talk to us

As a Chinese and Indian mixed couple and therapists ourselves, we understand the nuances these cultures bring in relation to communicating sexual preferences and boundaries. This topic may make many people uncomfortable. For some people, it may be an entirely new concept.

If you and your partner seek guidance in appreciating the use of consent in your relationship, we – Kavitha & Kester – are a couple therapists offering couples and relationship counseling in Singapore. Learn more about our services today and start building a better bond with your partner.

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In our couple therapy, it is common to hear one pa In our couple therapy, it is common to hear one partner say that the other is “selfish” for “always insisting on their way” or “always talking about what they want”.

While it is easy to blame the other, what we often encourage is for partners to look within themselves to see why they are triggered or annoyed by that particular behaviour of their partner.

Often we find that what we dislike in our partner, we also dislike in ourselves.

For example, I (Kester) used to get annoyed when Kavitha was telling me about her personal dreams. Upon reflection, I realized I was annoyed because I had been conditioned to suppress my own dreams and desires to accommodate others. The part of me that wanted to be seen as a “selfless” person had pushed aside the part of me that had my own wants and needs.

Another common example is a husband who may be triggered or annoyed by his wife’s emotions, which he may see as “selfish”, “dramatic” or “overreacting”. Upon reflection, he may find that he has the same discomfort and annoyance with his own emotions.

Ultimately, the differences we see in our partner are not here to make our life miserable. They are here to reflect parts of us that need to heal, so we can come into balance and grow into our fullest potential.

Love,
Kester 

Kavitha and Kester are Singapore-based therapists who help couples and individuals build thriving relationships and live authentically. Click on link in bio to learn more about our offerings and how to work with us.

#intracresco #mentalhealthsg #therapist #healthyrelationships #relationshipadvice #therapy #relationshipcoaching #emotionalhealing #communicationadvice #relationshiptherapy #selfawareness #relationshiptips #couplescounseling #marriegetips #healing #therapy #emotionalawareness
This is a common cycle many couples go into: One p This is a common cycle many couples go into: One partner says something that hurts the other partner, and the other partner says something back to hurt them. The exchange continues, more hurtful words are used, past hurts are brought out, and before you know it, both partners are threatening to separate. What just happened?

Both partners are actually looking to be heard, to be validated, and to be shown empathy and love. But many of us were never taught that it is okay to ask for empathy and love. To get our needs for connection and love, we had to "force" it by hurting others so they would know how we feel.

This unhealthy dynamic can be healed when we become aware of our tendencies to hurt others when we are hurt, and instead reflect on what it is that we are actually seeking at a deeper level. When we are clear on that, we can share that with our partner from a calm space, for example by saying, "dear, I am just looking to be heard, not to blame you".

This awareness is key to conscious communication and deeper understanding between couples.

-

Kavitha and Kester are Singapore-based therapists who help couples and individuals build thriving relationships and live more authentically. Click on the link in bio to learn more about our offerings and how to work with us.

#intracresco
#mentalhealth
#mentahlhealthsg
#mentalhealthawareness
#relationships
#relationshiptherapy
#healthylove
#marriagecounselling
#marriageadvice
#mindsetchange
#meaningfulgifts
#marriage101
#relationship101
#lovemessage
#lovemindset
#marriagetip
#relationshiptip

Music: Bensound
Heartbreak is a difficult emotion to deal with. It Heartbreak is a difficult emotion to deal with. It takes time, patience, and self-compassion to move through it gracefully. We hope this post points you in the right direction. Save it or forward it to someone that may need it.

Much Love

Kavitha and Kester

Citations
* Fisher HE, Brown LL, Aron A, Strong G, Mashek D. Reward, addiction, and emotion regulation systems associated with rejection in love. J Neurophysiol. 2010 Jul;104(1):51-60. doi: 10.1152/jn.00784.2009. Epub 2010 May 5. PMID: 20445032.

Kavitha and Kester are Singapore-based therapists who help couples and individuals build thriving relationships and live authentically. Click on link in bio to learn more about our offerings and how to work with us.

#intracresco #mentalhealthsg #therapist #healthyrelationships #relationshipadvice #therapy #relationshipcoaching #emotionalhealing #communicationadvice #couplestherapy #couplescoaching #marriagecounselling #relationshiptips #relationshipgoals #intimacy #healing #emotionalgrowth
Drop 3 hearts (❤️❤️❤️) and resolve to Drop 3 hearts (❤️❤️❤️) and resolve to give the above a try.

🌼Forgiveness does not mean that what the person did was right or forgotten
🌼Forgiveness simply means you are allowing yourself to heal and move on
🌼It simply means that you accept what happened and are giving yourself permission to break free

Every new skill takes time, patience, and practice to master. Breaking free from pain to a joyous and fulfilling life may feel challenging at the start. The more you allow yourself to live in the joy of your own being – the lesser control other’s nuances have over you.

Much Love

Kavitha

—
Kavitha and Kester are Singapore-based therapists who help couples and individuals build thriving relationships and live more authentically. Click on link in bio to learn more about our offerings and how to work with us.

#intracresco #metalhealthsg #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #therapistsinsingapore #wellness #mentalwellness #healing #healthyhealing #innerhealing #journeyofhealing #innerhealing #forgiveness #journeytohealing #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealth
Different therapists conduct therapy differently. Different therapists conduct therapy differently. It is important to understand each therapist’s style, approach and personality before deciding which one is right for you. 

We hope this post helps you understand ours.

Love,
Kavitha & Kester
—
Kavitha and Kester are Singapore-based therapists who help couples and individuals build thriving relationships and live more authentically. Click on the link in bio to learn more about our offerings and how to work with us.

#intracresco #mentalhealth #mentahlhealthsg #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealththerapy #therapistsinsg #therapistsinsingapore #healing #journeyofhealing  #innerhealing #transformation #growth #innergrowth #relationships #relationshiptherapy #marriagecounselling #growingtogether #relationshipcounselling
Being completely honest with ourselves is one of t Being completely honest with ourselves is one of the biggest challenges in healing.

Often we find clients (and ourselves) having difficulty accepting that there is a part of them that feels a certain way.

For example, someone who had a strict moral upbringing might find it hard to accept the part of them that holds hatred.

Someone whose job is to show confidence (e.g. a leader or coach) might find it hard to accept the part of them that feels insecure and not good enough.

I (Kester) have personally struggled with facing the part of me that is selfish, having presented myself as a kind and selfless person throughout my life.

When we face the deeper truths in ourselves, it is important to differentiate between what the mind and ego thinks versus what the subconscious mind and the body actually feels.

The mind and ego might not want to accept that deeper truth as it goes against its pride and self-constructed identity, or it might find the deeper truth “irrational”.

But the body does not lie; the way we unconsciously react to situations, the things we get triggered by – all reveal the emotions and belief systems we carry deep inside us.

Facing these deeper truths inside of us takes a lot of courage. When we do so, it can be so painful – like a dagger in the heart; a smashing of an illusion; a dying of a “self” we had attached to as our identity.

But after the pain comes relief, and hope of a new “you” being reborn.

Love,

Kester

—

Kavitha and Kester are Singapore-based therapists who help couples and individuals build thriving relationships and live more authentically. Click on link in bio to learn more about our offerings and how to work with us.

#intracresco #mentalhealthsg #therapy #therapistsinsg #relationshipcounselling #mentalwellnesscounselling #mentalwellness #mentalwellnesssingapore #selfempowerment #communicationadvice #improvingmyself #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #healing #innerchildhealing #connectingwithyourself #mindbodyconnection
Join us for an intimate couples retreat in Ubud, B Join us for an intimate couples retreat in Ubud, Bali!

Learn to:
-  Improve communication
-  Resolve conflicts
-  Deepen intimacy

Through mindful and deep-dive practices, we will work on strengthening the foundations of your relationship, and empowering you and your partner with the tools to thrive as a couple.

This all-inclusive retreat will be held at a luxury nature resort in Ubud, Bali serving nutritionally balanced Asian and Western vegetarian cuisine with organic, local ingredients.

Click on link in bio to learn more about the itinerary and booking details. Early bird price of S$3,500 per couple (full board). Open to all types of romantic relationships.

Love,
Kavitha & Kester

-

Kavitha and Kester are Singapore-based therapists who help couples and individuals build thriving relationships and live more authentically.

#intracresco
#mentalhealth
#mentahlhealthsg
#sgcouple
#sgcouples
#mentalhealthawareness
#relationships
#relationshiptherapy
#healthylove
#marriagecounselling
#marriageadvice
#mindsetchange
#marriage101
#relationship101
#lovemessage
#lovemindset
#marriagetip
#relationshiptip
Different therapists conduct therapy differently. Different therapists conduct therapy differently. It is important to understand each therapists’ style, approach and personality before deciding which one is right for you. 

We hope this post helps you understand ours.

Love,
Kavitha & Kester
—
Kavitha and Kester are Singapore-based therapists who help couples and individuals build thriving relationships and live more authentically. Click on link in bio to learn more about our offerings and how to work with us.

#intracresco #mentalhealthsg #sgmentalhealth #mentalhealthsingapore #mentalhealth #mentalwellbeing #therapistsinsingapore #mentalhealthmatters #findingyourself #motivation #mentalhealing #healing #innerhealing #journeyofhealing #innerchildhealing #authenticity #mentalwellness #therapist #relearning #connectwithyourself #anxietyfree #survivor #mindbodyconnection
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